Domestic and family violence impacts on children and the mother-child relationship

Unfortunately, there appears, to me at least, to be a significant lack of understanding of the negative impacts on children and their relationship with their mothers. This is surprising given the significant amount of academic research available on the subject. Perhaps there isn't enough visibility or awareness of this research. Let's look at creating some understanding and context on this issue:

Within heterosexual relationships in Australia where DFV occurs, approximately 85 percent of reported cases is male violence against a female partner and 15 percent is female violence against a male partner. Whilst acknowledging the 15 percent, the impact of that 85 percent is what I hope to address on this page.

The impact occurs initially when the violence is in the home but its impacts last longer, even after the male abuser has left the home. Common themes include:


  • The past surfacing in the present
  • Erosion of confidence in their mothering
  • Being isolated and prevented from normal mothering activities.
  • Undermining the parent-child relationship.
  • Child contact problems.
  • Post separation harassment and violence.
  • Issues specifically for children

Let's go through each of these in a more complete manner over time. I will complete information on each of these headings and perhaps a few more over Jan 2023.