Recovering from domestic and protecting yourself from more abuse may mean ensuring that you safely remove yourself from the person using violence both physically and virtually. This page is a living and growing resource on matter you may need to attend to to unlink yourself safely. Perhaps a healthy way to consider this is that you are cutting the strings that connect you from the controlling hand of the past.
Car registration.
In Queensland there is a process to remove the other party from joint car registration is Domestic and Family Violence (DFV) is present. Your will need several forms of supporting documentation such as letters from your local DFV service or other support services you may be engaged in. A Domestic Violence Order is great support.
Along with the supporting documentation, you need to complete a statutory declaration and present it to your local Transport and Main Roads office. The declaration should include the following information:
- I (NAME), am no longer in a (MARRIED/DE FACTO) relationship with (NAME OF OTHER PARTY).
- The relationship was characterised by domestic violence whereby violence was perpetrated by (NAME OF OTHER PARTY) towards me, (NAME).
- I am requesting to have (NAME OF OTHER PARTY) removed from registration as he/she has no access to the vehicle and no financial obligation or commitment to pay for or upkeep the vehicle.
- I am the sole user/owner of the vehicle.
Driver's Licence.
Whilst you are there at the Transport and Main Roads office, consider changing your residential address to ensure that no mail is sent to the address of the other party.
Medicare.
Contact Medicare with the goal of having the other party removed from your new card and you removed from his/her card. You will need to complete a transfer form.
Rental lease.
The Residential Tenancies and Rooming Accommodation Act 2008 gives rights to people in a domestic relationship whether you are a tenant named on the tenancy agreement or not. This includes a spouse, de facto, a dating partner, a family member or an informal carer.
If you are experiencing domestic and family violence while living in rental accommodation, you can apply to the Tribunal for an order to:
- be recognized as the tenant
- remove the name of the person who has committed an act of domestic and family violence from the tenancy agreement
- restrain the person who has committed an act of domestic and family violence from causing further damage or injury
- Prevent your personal information being listed in a tenancy database where a breach of the agreement is a result of the actions of another person who has committed an act of domestic or family violence, or
- end your tenancy agreement altogether.
Banks.
Open your own bank account, preferably in a different bank to any existing joint accounts or any accounts held by the other party that you are aware off. Each bank is putting in measures to help people who have or are experiencing domestic violence. As an example, click here to view the Commonwealth Bank Domestic and Family Violence assistance page.
Financial contracts.
Check with all financial institutions with whom you have contracts in joint names to clarify your responsibilities. Be sure to have your details changes where possible to best protect your privacy and security.
Credit cards.
Consider cancelling any cards in joint names. This may be a difficult financial decision that involves up paying out a debt that was created by the other party but also considering the protection from further debts and safety in increased anonymity.
Medical centre.
If you have used the same doctor or medical centre, maybe it is time to:
- First notify the current medical centre of the separation and ensure that all of your records are marked to not be shared with the other party.
- Consider changing doctors or even medical centres. Most medical centres have records that can be accessed by all doctors in the centre.
Pharmacy/Chemist.
As for the medical centre, it may be time to notify your existing chemist of the change in circumstances and then change pharmacies.
Email.
Consider opening a separate email address for any necessary communications with the person using violence. Some people elect to do the reverse; open a new address and transition all regular email correspondence to the new address and leave the old address for the person using violence. Either way, having the emails separated helps with ensuring privacy and also avoiding anxiety when checking your regular emails.
Social media.
Social media can be a powerful tool for surveillance and control. Consider your security settings closely with a view to decreasing your exposure to the virtual world. You may need to block the person using violence as well as his/her close family and supporters. It may even be necessary to either close existing socials media accounts and open new ones, or even remove yourself from social media entirely.
Mobile telephone.
Consider what level of contact you need to maintain.If there is no need to maintain any form of contact, consider blocking the other party entirely from phone calls, SMS and voicemail. If you do need to maintain contact, if possible, restrict that to only one form of communication. If you need to keep phone contact and you find yourself jumping every time you get a call from anybody, consider changing the ring tone for the other part to a unique sound. Having it different from everybody else will help you lower your anxiety around answering the phone for family and friends.
Due to co-parenting arrangements and orders, you may be obliged to have your mobile telephone handy for contact calls at certain times, this prevents you from having the other person's phone number blocked. You could try using the "Do not disturb" function to ensure that your phone only rings when the other party calls within the allotted time frame. Here is a link for some Apple iPhones; there are similar features on all types of smartphones:
https://support.apple.com/en-au/HT204321
As with financial contracts, be sure to have yourself removed from any mobile phone plans or arrangements which keep you linked to the other party.
Australian and Queensland Electoral Rolls.
You can register as a silent elector if you feel that having your address shown on the electoral roll could endanger the personal safety of you or your family. Approval to register and vote as a silent elector is granted at the discretion of the Australian Electoral Commission. Click here to go to the Australian Electoral Commission page on registering as a silent voter.
Mail redirection.
Having any mail that is directly addressed to you and only you redirected to either a new address or even a post office box will allow you to cut another string of control. Click here to find our more of the Australia Post 12-months free mail redirection service for people who have experienced domestic violence.
